Day 48 of 365:
What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept?
I secretly wished you would notice me.
I cannot count the number of times I secretly wished you would, just once, look in my direction as we crossed paths in the crowded hallway at school. Maybe you would smile at me, look me in the eye, and we would somehow have a connection.
I secretly wished you would say hello to me as I walked past your house for the fifth time in a row. I wished that you would just happen to be outside, playing basketball on your driveway, or leaving to go somewhere. I wished you would stop and say hello and ask me my name. I would ask you yours, as if I didn’t know it already. I would act pleasantly surprised, as if I had never noticed you before either.
I secretly wished you thought I was as pretty as I thought you were handsome. That you would see me one day, outside the science room, or standing at my locker, and instantly want to talk me.
Oh, how I secretly wished I could call myself your girlfriend. I wished you would ask me out on a date…and on that date you would fall madly in love with me. And that would not be a secret at all.
I secretly wished for these things as I followed your shadow around like a love-sick puppy. You were so tall, so exquisite. The way you walked. The way you talked. The way you wore your clothes. The car you pulled up at the school parking lot in. The “in-crowd” you hung out with. You were unlike any boy I had ever seen before. I secretly thought you were just the coolest.
And I secretly wished I could be a part of your world – even if only for one day.
I secretly wished I had the nerve to approach you. I secretly wished I was as out going and cool as you obviously were. I secretly wished I wasn’t so shy. I secretly wished I had more confidence in myself.
I wondered if there was a way I could send you a secret message – like in a bottle or something – to let you know my feelings.
But I didn’t and you never noticed me. You never said ‘hi’. You never asked me out. I was never your girlfriend.
You never even knew I existed.
But that’s okay…I was only 14 and you were my secret crush.
My secret was safe with me.
(writing fiction today, inspired by the Daily Post Writing Prompt….or am I? I’ll never tell…..)